I’m trying to plan my 20th birthday, which is in less than a month – but I’m having a bit of trouble.
You see, when I moved to university, I said good riddance to a lot of people and now every time I go home for a visit, I realise how few friends I have in my hometown.
That’s not to say I’m an unpopular person – I have hundreds of friends at uni, many of which I will probably still talk to when I graduate. But my hometown is a little on edge at the best of times, and full of people that are very work-a-day-drink-the-weekend-away. That doesn’t mean they are bad people – I just don’t get on with them.
Back to the task at hand – I decided I wanted to go for a few drinks with my friends, for a good catch and and a chat, but upon creating the Facebook event I realised I don’t really have that many people I want to see there, let alone on my birthday!
I’ve ended inviting about 12 people, half of which probably won’t come but I don’t really mind. Because the people that care about me will bother and make an effort, and the one’s that don’t won’t.
My brother and sister (different sides of the family, don’t ask) will bother to see me whether it’s my night out or at some point in the week that I am home. But as for the rest of my so-called Dartford friends and family – no one bothers. Then again, I’m not an angel in all of this. I try to make the effort to keep in touch with family, but it’s difficult when you can’t stand your birth father – it makes seeing his family that much harder.
I get a little down around my birthday and the holidays because I realise that when I do return home for a few weeks a year, there is nothing worth staying for. My friends from university go home for the holidays and love it, they have loads of friends and a loving family. I go home for a few days and end up spending most of it perched at the end of the bar whilst my Mom does the crossword and complains about her back. I don’t have a good life there, and sometimes I wonder why I go back at all.
BUT – home is home and there is nothing I can do about it! So, I fake a smile, say hello to people and carry on with my life.
Hopefully this year I will be with the people I love and care about – if not, I’ll just spend the week blogging to all of you lovely people!