I Own Mom Jeans…

That’s right –  mom jeans! And no, I am not a mother. I’m two weeks away from 20 years old and I own mom jeans! 

They’re comfy, light denim and they look good… seriously! 

I wear them around the house, I use them for cooking, cleaning, gardening and general laying about. They match everything and everything matches them.

The problem is, I am not a mom (obvious, I know) but I mean it.  Yes, I want children and a family in the future, but right now I was hoping for a little less responsibility and a little more fun. Again, I want a serious relationship, But do I really want to have to look out for another human being when I don’t want to look out for myself?

These jeans are awesome, but I think they represent a part of my future that genuinely worries me. Every day at some point or another that my future is a little more than shaky. I’ve chosen an amazing but unstable career path, I’m a loner (sometimes by choice), I’m independent, and I’m a hard to read person. How am I going to cope when I have children to look after ?(Theo and Scarlett are their theoretical names by the way). 

One day, I am going to have to face the fact that I own mom jeans and that they come with issues, but right now I think I might change into leggings, grab a vodka and coke and watch Friends with my housemates. 

*rant over*

Don’t forget that my new blog launches on my birthday (August 18th 2014) – have a sneak peak here. 

20 Years In The Making

This blog is usually a light-hearted space (even in my low moments) but I just wanted to take a minute to talk about something I never thought I’d see.

My 20th birthday. 

I was so sure I’d never make it this far (age-wise) that I never really planned for it. Just like I’ve never dreamed up my ideal wedding or the prefect 21st birthday party. I never though I would leave my teens.

When you turn 13, everyone tells you that your teenage years are going to be the best of your life. Now, I know I’m still technically in them but I can say for certain that this just isn’t true for me. I had a rocky childhood and my early teen years were rebellious – at best! I had no future planned, no purpose in life and not much encouragement to reach for the stars. I didn’t even have pushy parents.

I don’t regret anything in my life – all choices lay the path to our future – but I know I didn’t make the smartest decisions, there are a lot of things I would have done differently. You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it – and that is exactly what I’ve been doing these last two years.

I (somehow) got into a good university, and am now a year away from graduation and my 21st birthday. I have wonderful friends whom I hope will be with me for many years to come, I have a good job and five (technically six) books under my belt.

13-year-old me would not believe it. She wore black skinny jeans, kohl eyeliner and dreamed of getting her lip pierced. Her poetry was delusional at best and she never thought it was any good. It’s taken me seven years of bad choices, a wobbly education and supportive people in my life to realise that we don’t have to be the person our life dictates. If I hadn’t jumped off the crazy train, I would be homeless, jobless and off my face every day. 

What I am trying to say is, I am so proud of myself for making a life changing decision in a park when I was 15: I said no – not anymore. I gave up the jelly bracelets and spiky boots. I donned cute dresses and (mostly) natural hair – and no more scary make up. I stopped caring what boys thought of me and decided the only way to be happy in life was to truly be myself and strive for greater things. 

I’m proud of me, and I think at some point in everyone’s lives they have a chance to choose the right path. I may wobble occasionally, but I’m still on track to being the woman I want to be. 

 

Everything’s Making Me Smile!

Having made the active decision to try and be happy this summer, I’m finding that even the little things are bringing a smile to my face.

  • No spam emails: smile!
  • Sold two books on Amazon: smile!
  • I got to work and the department was tidy: smile!
  • Helped customers choose their new kitchen table: smile!
  • Had a laugh about sale prices with another customer: smile!

Everything is making me happy – even the fact that I remembered to bring water to work with me today!

There might be clouds in the sky, but at least the weather’s cooled down a little bit.

On top of that – I’m giving myself 4/5 for my work outfit today, as I look cool and business at the same time.

I encourage anyone who’s feeling a bit low to try and see the bright side in everything because it genuinely makes you feel ten times better!

Has anything made you smile this week? Tell me in the comments, or Tweet me @melissaholden94

Happy weekend! 🙂

 

 

My Many Faces

They say we are made of our many faces, of the people around us. They effect our lives, our growth and our happiness.

Melissa Holden joined black and white

 

I think I have four faces: the cool kid, the princess, the writer, and the geek.

The Cool Kid:

I make jokes, tell stories and generally have a good time. The cool  part of me likes drinking, partying and having a laugh with friends – but sometimes she doesn’t quite know when to stop.

The Princess:

The princess is waiting for prince charming to sweep her off her feet. She’s an optimist with a stubborn streak. She loves dressing up and looking her best, but deep deep down she knows she’s destined to mop the floors of the castles.

The Writer:

I write about nearly every thought I have. I’ve dedicated my entire life to being a writer with every fibre of my being, but it’s not the only good thing about me.

The Geek:

I watch Doctor Who for hours on end, have trouble in social situations and can only truly voice myself on the internet.

We are all combinations of ourselves, we aren’t one kind of person. Remember that the next time someone tries to categorize you. 

Is Being Career-Driven Messing With My Dating Life?

While on my newly-discovered favourite app: Tinder, I was caught off-guard by an overly honest user. 

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Dating is all about discovering people’s personalities, likes and dislikes, and their life goals. So imagine my surprise when one of my Tinder-matches said he wasn’t interested because I ‘seem like too much of a career bitch’. 

Now, I won’t lie – my writing is important to me and nothing will get in the way. Since when did being a career bitch becoming such a turn-off? 

When I’m walking down the street and I see a cute guy in a suit, I think ‘ooh – a career man!’ It proves a willingness to work hard and provide. It’s attractive in a man to see they are capable of independence (never mind the beautiful suits). 

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But why is me being so dedicated my career a huge issue for guys? That one user isn’t the only one to mention my writing life. I’ve had friends tell me the same thing, as well as guys in clubs. I tell them I have a career plan and suddenly I don’t look so interesting anymore… 

Maybe it goes back to olden days, where women were all stay-at-home moms, and education was for the rich. I’m certainly not rich, and if I become a stay-at-home-mom, it will be because I work in my home office (which I plan on having in my beautiful home.)

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I’m enough of a feminist to know that as much as women shouldn’t be judged on appearance, they also shouldn’t be judged on their determination for a career.

Everyone is entitled to their dream job, it’s not a dampener on sexual appeal – if anything it should be a spark. 

*rant over*

If you missed my online dating expose, check it out here. 

 

Online Dating

In an act of desperation, I did a little digging into the helter-skelter that is: Online Dating. 

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I tried three websites/apps, and here is how it went:

1. Match.com

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After spending the best part of twenty minutes filling in personality scores and surveys, I finally had a profile. On Match, you are given 6 Daily Matches for free, so you can view their profiles, but unless you subscribe and pay – you can’t message anyone. It got really annoying, and wasn’t matching me to anyone I found interesting. Account deactivated. 

I give it: 6/10

2. JustSingles.com

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I found this site after looking up what was one of the best online dating sites in the UK. I was not impressed. The profile was even more extensive than match.com, and the site website didn’t look half as good. 

And, when you finally set up a profile – you can’t even read messages or reply to them without subscribing. I was getting really bored of this whole pay-to-date thing: that’s not how it works in the real world. In real life, you see someone in a bar and you judge them first on how they look and then on their opening statement. So, I switched over to Tinder. Account deactivated. 

Just Singles gets only 3/10

3. Tinder

Tinder-Logo-310x206 Tinder proved the most successful. You upload a collection of pictures (hopefully not selfies), you write an interesting About paragraph and let your profile do the talking. It shows your first name and age, and your amount of miles away from each Tinder user that comes up. You can adjust age ranges and mileage differences. 

I’ve found loads of interesting people to talk to, and it’s happy light-hearted lingo means nothing embarrassing! 

I even convinced my housemate Shelby to join up last night, and she’s got a lot to say on the matter – click here to read about her Tinder Do’s and Dont’s. 

Tinder racks up an impressive 8/10 and is voted my favourite dating app of 2014 so far. 

Have you had any troubling adventures on dating sites, or have you had romance success? Comment below!