20 Years In The Making

This blog is usually a light-hearted space (even in my low moments) but I just wanted to take a minute to talk about something I never thought I’d see.

My 20th birthday. 

I was so sure I’d never make it this far (age-wise) that I never really planned for it. Just like I’ve never dreamed up my ideal wedding or the prefect 21st birthday party. I never though I would leave my teens.

When you turn 13, everyone tells you that your teenage years are going to be the best of your life. Now, I know I’m still technically in them but I can say for certain that this just isn’t true for me. I had a rocky childhood and my early teen years were rebellious – at best! I had no future planned, no purpose in life and not much encouragement to reach for the stars. I didn’t even have pushy parents.

I don’t regret anything in my life – all choices lay the path to our future – but I know I didn’t make the smartest decisions, there are a lot of things I would have done differently. You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it – and that is exactly what I’ve been doing these last two years.

I (somehow) got into a good university, and am now a year away from graduation and my 21st birthday. I have wonderful friends whom I hope will be with me for many years to come, I have a good job and five (technically six) books under my belt.

13-year-old me would not believe it. She wore black skinny jeans, kohl eyeliner and dreamed of getting her lip pierced. Her poetry was delusional at best and she never thought it was any good. It’s taken me seven years of bad choices, a wobbly education and supportive people in my life to realise that we don’t have to be the person our life dictates. If I hadn’t jumped off the crazy train, I would be homeless, jobless and off my face every day. 

What I am trying to say is, I am so proud of myself for making a life changing decision in a park when I was 15: I said no – not anymore. I gave up the jelly bracelets and spiky boots. I donned cute dresses and (mostly) natural hair – and no more scary make up. I stopped caring what boys thought of me and decided the only way to be happy in life was to truly be myself and strive for greater things. 

I’m proud of me, and I think at some point in everyone’s lives they have a chance to choose the right path. I may wobble occasionally, but I’m still on track to being the woman I want to be. 

 

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Pretty Woman Review *mild spoilers*

The twisted fairly tale of a hooker and a business tycoon falling in love. 

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Pretty Woman is one of those feel-good movies that everyone has to watch at some point in their lives. It’s got short skirts, beautiful dresses and life lessons – what more would you want from a click flick?

Edward Lewis (Richard Gere) transforms Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) from a streetwalker on Hollywood Boulevard into a woman fit for the high life. He helps her discover the strong independent woman she’s always wanted to be. And Vivian takes a lonely businessman who destroys companies and makes him into an honest, kind man – but still a millionaire!  

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Now, I’m not saying I wanted to be Vivian by the end of this (I’m too 21st Century individual for that level of sexual promiscuity) but I wouldn’t mind a beautiful, sweet man rescuing me from my first world poverty and helping me acclimatize to a life of expensive clothes and opera. Hell, I think I’d settle for a date that wasn’t on the in a local bar and a dress that wasn’t bought in Primark!

This film is as pretty as Vivian becomes on her journey – but it’s a fairy tale too. You’ve got your damsel in distress, a prince charming, the villain, a kind old man, jealous women, and horse riding! So what are you waiting for? 

 

Be Yourself!

Last night while watching a 90’s chic-flick, I heard a song from my childhood that I adored. But upon hearing it now, I realise there is so much more to the song than six-year-old me noticed.

Alanis Morrissette’s ‘I’m a Bitch’ talks about how we are so many people at once, and that we shouldn’t change for anyone.

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell, I’m your dream, I’m nothing in between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

Read more: Alanis Morissette – Im A Bitch Lyrics | MetroLyrics

And why should we want to be any other way? We should all be proud of the people and the identities we hold: mother, wife, daughter, friend – all wonderful people to be! No shame is needed when we talk about ourselves.

As a society, we are constantly putting ourselves (and others) down for being honest about who they are, but there is just no need. There is already enough corruption in the world without us all lying about the kind of people we are.

Today’s moral is: be yourself, and be happy with who you are. Because you are the only you there is in the entire world, and you can never be replaced.

Watch my vlog about it all here.

Happiness Matters

Whether you’re just starting in life or you’ve been around the block a few times, happiness matters. 

A lot of us spend our days stressing about everything going wrong in our lives, but instead we should be counting our lucky stars that we are surrounded by amazing people who love and care about us.

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Okay, so you didn’t get that promotion this time, doesn’t mean you won’t in the future! And, you like your job as it is anyway – so relax.

So you didn’t do anything this weekend – you’re going to that incredible festival next month, so look forward to it!

Your partner is being moody with you – but the other day they cooked you a lovely romantic dinner, things can’t be that bad.

What I’m trying to say is: we shouldn’t take our lives and our happiness for granted because one day it might all change. We should enjoy the lives with have and love the people that love us.

Life Lessons from ‘Friends’ Episodes

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Never betray your friends.  Friendships are beautiful relationships in your life. Your friends are important to you and you are important to them.

Technology isn’t important. When do they ever focus on the latest technology? Never. Technology fads will come and go – but life is still there when the internet connection goes.

Fashion isn’t everything. We see so many fashion changes throughout the show, and none of them stick (except the little black dress.)

Don’t judge people by their past. Episode one – Rachel shows up in a wedding dress and seems like the most spoiled little rich girl in the world. By the end of the show, she is a mother, in love and pursuing her dream career. Forgive your past trespasses and forgive others for their past. People can change.

Finance sucks.  They are always broke and manage to cope. They thrived in fact.

 

 

Is Sex Such a Bad Thing?

People are quick to judge when it comes to one night stands and the like – but why?

Natural Selection:

As human beings, we are built to pro-create and spread the genes around; so it’s only fair that we seek the optimum mate to have children with. But how are you supposed to know if you’ve found MR. Perfect when he’s the only one you’ve ever been with? He might be doing it wrong!

Sex Before Wed:

Bad in the olden days when sex before marriage was a crime – people were still loving before wedlock. IT’S INSTINCT. He is attracted to her. She’s attracted to him. Kiss kiss kiss and the next thing you know they are rolling in the hay. Big deal!

Let’s Talk About Sex:

There’s nothing wrong with discussing your night in with the boyfriend as long as you’re truthful and appropriate. Girls, we all gossip about sex in everyday conversation – and that’s great! Lads, you might not talk about it all the time – but you’ve got sex on the brain every seven seconds!

It’s okay to open up about our sex lives, whether you’re bragging or a little bit worries. Honesty is the best policy – but remember: If you are comfortable telling your friends, you should be able to tell your partner!

Communication and Intimacy:

Sex is a passionate, close way of communication and pro-creation. It’s the 21st century – sex before marriage is only an issues if you are a devout religious person and lets face it: they are far and few between.

Most of us just want to get our thing on and get through the day with some close affection from someone else. We don’t want to fall in love with every single person we are attracted to – it doesn’t work like that. Sometime you just need a few hours with someone who respects you and cares about you – love doesn’t have to factor into it.

Desperate?:

Just because you have slept with more than one person, it doesn’t make you desperate. It might be a case of loneliness, or post-break up blues, or feeling amazing about yourself. But getting your freak on with the hottie you met last week doesn’t mean you’re dying for it.

Feeling Good:

Sex makes us feel incredible! On a emotional, physical, mental and chemical level. The act of love making makes you’re entire body jump for joy. It feels good, and it make you feel good – what’s so bad about that?

 

I hope this post has made you feel that little bit more relaxed about the mysterious world of coitus.

Stay safe, be happy, and remember to be honest!

Wise Words For Someone So Young

“They were wise words for someone so young.” I hear this phrase a lot in my life. I’ve got a wise head on young shoulders, or as my mother puts it – I’m arrogant.

wise words for someone so young

 

Every time I hear that phrase, I wonder why they’ve said it. Because it’s never one of your peers or classmates, it’s usually an ‘adult’ commenting on something you’ve just said to them.

With me it’s usually that I’ve spoken my mind about something they’ve said, and they agree with me entirely – but they are taken aback by the fact that it was a nineteen-year-old that said it. They aren’t belittling me in any way – the opposite in fact. But it’s still an odd thing to say.

I think the phrase comes from the fact that most young people (and believe me I have these moments too) just say really stupid things that don’t make sense half the time.

It’s not that we are stupid or anything, but that we aren’t always aware of the appropriate thing to say in order to help others – especially our older peers. I give advice all the time to my friends (they ask for it – I’m not just dishing out my opinion) but I try and avoid advising my older peers because I hate hearing “you’ll understand some day.” Now while it may be true that I don’t know everything about life yet, I sure as hell don’t want to hear it!

I’m going to have to get used to hearing these phrases as I near my 20th birthday – lots of people are curious as to what paths I may take in life at this point. But the truth is: me and my wise head on my young shoulders just don’t know where life will take us. We’ll just have to take the slow path and find out with the rest of you.