Is Being Single A Bad Thing?

Is being single in your teens/twenties really as bad as they make it out to be?


I’m verging on 20 in two months, and I love being single. Yes, I do want to eventually tie myself down with marriage and a family – but as an independent Gen Y woman, I am quite happy to stay single for a while.

The stigma behind being single is that you’re lonely. I’m not lonely – I have friends and books and words. I have the internet – I can live without the night cuddles for a few more years.


In true writer fashion, I am an independent person – and the more time I spend with people, the less I focus on my writing. People (particularly boyfriends) seem to be a huge distraction from my writing life. That’s not to say I’m going to cut society out – every writer knows that the best way to find your voice, is to live life to it’s fullest and experience the world.

“Write what you know”  – Mark Twain

But this distraction-base isn’t limited to writers. I know so many couples that just get in each others way. They skip rehearsal because otherwise they miss dinner for a third night in a row. They say goodbye to the gym because the girlfriend wants to watch a movie. They miss girls night out because the boyfriend is complaining that he hasn’t seen her all week.


Teens, especially undergraduates, are always being told to live our lives whilst we still can  – so why are we so ready to give up the freedom that youth gives us in order to settle in with a partner?

I don’t know, I’ve never done it. I’ve never even come close.

I could pin it all on conformities and leave it at that, but I don’t think that’s the whole truth.


We want to be safe, it’s the comfort of knowing when you come home from a hard day someone is there to listen to you. It’s nice knowing there’s always someone on your side. But maybe safety isn’t the best thing for a person just discovering themselves.

I am ready to love someone, but I’m not ready to settle and be safe. If I met someone now, they would have to understand that I won’t be crying on their shoulder. I won’t be whinging that I never see them. I won’t be wondering what they are doing every minute of the day. I have a life to live, and I won’t put that on hold for a guy. I won’t put that on hold for anything or anyone.

I’m a Gen Y woman and I am happy being single. Are you?


Got a comment? Post it below, or continue the discussion on Twitter @melissaholden94


Why My Boyfriend Confuses Me

Dear Followers,

We’ve been seeing each other for a while now (all thanks to the wonder of The Internet), and other than the odd comment here and there, I haven’t really spoken about my boyfriend.

And before you say anything – yes, he is real!

I’m going to be kind and not name him or include an image – mostly because if his friends found out, he would never hear the end of it. No lie – he will probably be very awkward with me after he (if he) reads this!

So, here’s the facts:

When did you meet?

New Year’s Eve 2013/2014

How did he ask you out?

He didn’t. The first time we met, I was talking to my friend about Doctor Who, and asked him his opinion. We spent hours chatting in the middle of this party, whilst getting stupidly drunk (I’m a student – what else was I going to do on NYE?).

I got chatting to his friend, and asked if he (my boyfriend) had a boyfriend and how long had they been together? This was met by raucous laughter and my (now) boyfriend being told I thought he was gay. My only explanation was that he was so nice and cute and sweet that he couldn’t possibly be straight. He told me he wasn’t and kissed me to prove it.

How long have you been together?

Since NYE, so four months today! (01/05/2014)

Are you Facebook official?

Er, well I am listed as being “In An Open Relationship”. We are both very causal people who have our own relationship scars, so we like not to label our relationship.

What does he look like?

Just under 6ft, messy hair, pale, glasses, slim (honest – he is gorgeous)

Why My Boyfriend Confuses Me

I, despite my tender nineteen years, have had several serious relationships and my fair share of flirting. So when I met my boyfriend, I thought things would be different. And they are – just in a weird way.

Why is it weird?

He genuinely isn’t a typical guy when it comes to our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he likes a beer and is obsessed with video games (OK – a Generation Y Typical Guy), but when it comes down to it – he is just different.

  • He doesn’t like to talk about sex.
  • He doesn’t ask for anything.
  • He doesn’t flirt.
  • He doesn’t like social media (or in his words “I have nothing interesting to post”).
  • He’s nice (and polite).
  • He’s as intelligent (if not more so) than I am – which is rare for my partners.
  • He doesn’t like taking selfies (I am obsessed with them).
  • He reads – a lot! (He puts me to shame actually).
  • He is amazing to look at and he has no idea.
  • He compliments me (and actually means it!) [but I can’t deal with compliments so this may be my issue and not his…]

I could go on, but you get the gist  – he is a 6ft ball of confusion with the bluest eyes and a killer grin.

There is, however, 1% of my brain screaming at me (everyday might I add) to break up with him because his differences scare me. That, and I fear the day he realizes just how messed up I am and breaks up with me. But who am I to judge those who don’t conform to society?

So, Boyfriend – if you have bothered to read this (although I doubt you will): I think you’re pretty awesome, and thank you for being you. Please continue to put up with me for the foreseeable future. 

Lots of like, your Writer Girlfriend 🙂

Thanks for reading, and I hope you can sympathy for my confused mind!




I Need These Shoes (Burlesque) *WARNING: SPOILERS*

The shoes from Burlesque. Image found at:

The shoes from Burlesque. Image found at:

If you don’t recognise these shoes, then you haven’t seen Burlesque! If you haven’t seen this film, I forgive you – but at least appreciate the shoes.

In the film, Christina Aguilera says (and I quote):

l’m gonna dream about those shoes.

These shoes look like you will break your neck the second you step out the door (you’re not wrong there!) but they are gorgeous!

Ali (Christina Aguilera ) gets given the shoes after seeing them at the party of the guy that’s trying to get with her (long story short). I don’t agree with the way she gets the shoes, but they are pretty!

  • There’s only one reason a man buys a woman shoes.
  • So what if l’m getting a little male attention?
  • You’re getting more than a little.

I won’t lie to you, Internet – I would love it if my boyfriend bought me shoes, but we aren’t that kind of couple. He knows me well enough to know that if he bought me something, I would think he had done something wrong, or that he wanted something (which happens in the film!). Gifts are for special occasions – not bribery! 

This was a bit of a tangent, but basically I want these shoes, but not the bribing! 

(quotes found at: