I Suddenly Want A Family?

There, I said it. I have suddenly developed maternal instincts and the deep want to get married.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me!  I mean babies are cute and everything, but before where I used to flinch if they cried, now I want to cuddle and soothe them. HELP!


This is not helped by numerous Facebook friends having children and getting married. They’re always posting photos of their newborn babies and I just think they are adorable.

I think this started about a year ago when me and some friends started talking about our ideal weddings… I now have a weddings Pinterest board! 


It’s got even worse since me and my boyfriend ended it (honestly: best break up ever, he’s so sweet) because I realized I needed more than he could give me. I’m not saying I will drop everything to have a relationship and a family, but I wouldn’t say no as fast as I would have a year ago.

I keep thinking about how I always said I would be married by the time I was 25: I’m 20 in three months and I’m still single with no men on my horizon. And what’s worse – I have a career (yes, that’s write – writing is my career and I love it more than people [call a shrink now]).


I won’t give up my career, but do you know how hard it is explaining to people that you want to be a writer, knowing full-well that it will never make me any money?! Now imagine telling a guy that on the first date! Men (as much as they deny this) don’t like career women. I know the guys I know certainly don’t love the idea of a women (particularly me) being more successful than they are, and more so because I haven’t even graduated yet.


Maybe I’m generalizing too much, some guys are absolute sweeties about it but I’m not looking for complete and utter admiration from a partner: I’m looking for some respect.

What’s wrong with me? Is it self-destruction of my career or am I genuinely ready to grow up and find someone to love and grow with?

Have you been through this and could spare some advice? Comment below or Tweet me @melissaholden94


Family visit Pt 2

SO: my sister, her Mom, and the kids came to visit yesterday, and I promised you a follow-up post!

The day started off humorous when my sister text me from the car saying “The numbers go 4 then 6…” she couldn’t find my door (No 5, with a bright red door) because it’s in the corner, and no-one can ever find it.

So they come in, she loves the house (I don’t), and the kids made themselves at home whilst I grabbed my things. Molly (4) spotted the Clementine on the dinner table, so I had to then carry a Clementine around with me all day until she decided she wanted some.

Then it was a nice walk to Caluchinno’s in town to meet Carol (Kaye’s Mom). It’s a blue faux-Italia type of cafe with brooding waiters who flinch at the sight of children. It’s pretty safe to say he was happy when we left, although not so happy when he found Molly and Nelson’s (2) Monster’s University cupcake wrappers on the table (home-made, of course – and actually quite yummy).

After awkwardly leaving the cafe, we went to EAT, although we kept calling it ASK (no, matter – it’s the same amount of letters!) and to my surprise Molly picks out a prawn salad, and ate the whole thing (but she did drop the sauce all over the floor when trying to help us clean up – bless). Nelson picked at some ham sandwiches, and us grown ups had some tasty lunches.

Then it was dressing gown shopping for Nelson:

Gruffalo dressing gown

Isn’t he adorable?

Molly spotted a Hello Kitty tracksuit, and Carol treated the kids to the clothes, (fair is fair).

We went for cream tea too, and I saved my tiny jam pot to give to my Mom (she’s easily amused by cute things). On the way to cream tea, Molly had spotted an ice cream stall, so when we left, Kaye got the kids some ice cream. I have to say, Nelson is quite the tidy eater. Molly was covered in chocolate.

I bought the kids some sticker books for their up-coming holiday, like I promised and then we headed back to mine!

Kaye, the gem she is, gave me a spontaneous lift to Dartford so I could have a break from staring at my assignments. We had pasta bake for dinner (God, I miss home-cooking).

It was really nice catching up with everyone and hearing about their lives. Hopefully seeing Kaye again before I go back to Canterbury, but we shall see!

So, if my blogging is sporadic this week – it’s because I’m in Dartford being all social and things.

Have a great week and enjoy the confusing British sunshine!