Is Sex Such a Bad Thing?

People are quick to judge when it comes to one night stands and the like – but why?

Natural Selection:

As human beings, we are built to pro-create and spread the genes around; so it’s only fair that we seek the optimum mate to have children with. But how are you supposed to know if you’ve found MR. Perfect when he’s the only one you’ve ever been with? He might be doing it wrong!

Sex Before Wed:

Bad in the olden days when sex before marriage was a crime – people were still loving before wedlock. IT’S INSTINCT. He is attracted to her. She’s attracted to him. Kiss kiss kiss and the next thing you know they are rolling in the hay. Big deal!

Let’s Talk About Sex:

There’s nothing wrong with discussing your night in with the boyfriend as long as you’re truthful and appropriate. Girls, we all gossip about sex in everyday conversation – and that’s great! Lads, you might not talk about it all the time – but you’ve got sex on the brain every seven seconds!

It’s okay to open up about our sex lives, whether you’re bragging or a little bit worries. Honesty is the best policy – but remember: If you are comfortable telling your friends, you should be able to tell your partner!

Communication and Intimacy:

Sex is a passionate, close way of communication and pro-creation. It’s the 21st century – sex before marriage is only an issues if you are a devout religious person and lets face it: they are far and few between.

Most of us just want to get our thing on and get through the day with some close affection from someone else. We don’t want to fall in love with every single person we are attracted to – it doesn’t work like that. Sometime you just need a few hours with someone who respects you and cares about you – love doesn’t have to factor into it.


Just because you have slept with more than one person, it doesn’t make you desperate. It might be a case of loneliness, or post-break up blues, or feeling amazing about yourself. But getting your freak on with the hottie you met last week doesn’t mean you’re dying for it.

Feeling Good:

Sex makes us feel incredible! On a emotional, physical, mental and chemical level. The act of love making makes you’re entire body jump for joy. It feels good, and it make you feel good – what’s so bad about that?


I hope this post has made you feel that little bit more relaxed about the mysterious world of coitus.

Stay safe, be happy, and remember to be honest!


Weddings or Marriage?

I’ve got weddings on the brain – mostly because of this hilarious video I found on YouTube.

So now not only do I want a wedding, but I also want some form of hilarious dance-off to happen.

But do I really want a wedding? Yes, I want the beautiful dress and a day with all my friends and family – but why not just throw a party?

I’m not religious, so there’s no white wedding in a church for me, but I do eventually want to get married.

But they cost so much money! A budget wedding is about £15K – I could buy cars and amazing gadgets, nice holidays, print books, buy software, dozens of expensive shopping sprees, and a few parties with all that money. So why spend it all on one day?

I don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage – I know I will probably get divorced (I’m just that sort of person), so it’s not a personal thing for me. In fact, getting married would probably cause more harm than good for me because I would have to argue being able to keep my last name.


So why do I want to get married? Because I want a marriage –  not a wedding.

Screw the expensive wedding day, I’d rather buy a pretty dress for £80 or so, and have an amazing party with my friends. I’ll just get married at the registrar office on a Saturday afternoon with some witnesses and my beautiful (imaginary at this point) husband on my arm. What’s the point in spending all that money to make one day special, when you could use it to make the rest of your marriage special.

Plus, when you have a short marriage and end up divorcing; you won’t still be paying for the wedding after he’s upped and left you. (I’m not a cynic – honest!)


I Suddenly Want A Family?

There, I said it. I have suddenly developed maternal instincts and the deep want to get married.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me!  I mean babies are cute and everything, but before where I used to flinch if they cried, now I want to cuddle and soothe them. HELP!


This is not helped by numerous Facebook friends having children and getting married. They’re always posting photos of their newborn babies and I just think they are adorable.

I think this started about a year ago when me and some friends started talking about our ideal weddings… I now have a weddings Pinterest board! 


It’s got even worse since me and my boyfriend ended it (honestly: best break up ever, he’s so sweet) because I realized I needed more than he could give me. I’m not saying I will drop everything to have a relationship and a family, but I wouldn’t say no as fast as I would have a year ago.

I keep thinking about how I always said I would be married by the time I was 25: I’m 20 in three months and I’m still single with no men on my horizon. And what’s worse – I have a career (yes, that’s write – writing is my career and I love it more than people [call a shrink now]).


I won’t give up my career, but do you know how hard it is explaining to people that you want to be a writer, knowing full-well that it will never make me any money?! Now imagine telling a guy that on the first date! Men (as much as they deny this) don’t like career women. I know the guys I know certainly don’t love the idea of a women (particularly me) being more successful than they are, and more so because I haven’t even graduated yet.


Maybe I’m generalizing too much, some guys are absolute sweeties about it but I’m not looking for complete and utter admiration from a partner: I’m looking for some respect.

What’s wrong with me? Is it self-destruction of my career or am I genuinely ready to grow up and find someone to love and grow with?

Have you been through this and could spare some advice? Comment below or Tweet me @melissaholden94

This Quote Sums Up Love…

Source: Facebook

Source: Facebook

I just saw this quote on Facebook and it stopped me in my tracks.  I just had to blog about it.

This quote sums up how love should be. That person being away from you should hurt, not just be annoying.

The love of your life should make you miserable. Yes, miserable. You should be so in love with that person, that you are so happy it makes you sick. So happy, you can’t breathe.

And that doesn’t mean that when you catch your breath, you don’t love them anymore. It just means you’ve learned to love and breathe with them.

Sorry – I’m not the romantic sort, and I don’t think I ever will be, but this quote really got to me. It summarizes the pain and the truth of love in one sentence: and who can deny how powerful love, and indeed words can be?


Please, continue about your day. Just promise me that next time you give your heart away: make sure it hurts.